Is Oral Sex Foreplay?

The ongoing debate between men and women

By Paige Diamond

Many times, people mistake what the meaning of foreplay really means. Foreplay is sexual stimulation prior to sex. What I have found is that when it comes to sex, men interpret the meaning of foreplay as oral sex or groping etc. Women interpret foreplay differently. The issue is plain and simple-men want to get to the actual act of sex right away and forget the importance of foreplay.

The average woman takes 25 to 30 minutes of foreplay to be aroused enough to become lubricated enough to have enjoyable and satisfying sex. The whole point of foreplay is the anticipation of where your mate will touch, lick, kiss, nipple- hell even bite next.

Many don’t realize that the light stroking or raking (using your nails and fingers along the surface of the skin) on the arm, thigh, neck, chest, hand or face means a lot more if a man comes up behind her while she's cooking or washing dishes than oral sex does. Or perhaps if he starts kissing the nape of her neck, washing of the hair, scrubbing the back and washing the breasts while in the shower. You would be amazed at how much a woman can be aroused by a sensual kiss on the hand for instance. Other types of touch that can be used as foreplay are kneading (whereas you handle the skin as if you’re kneading dough), percussion (light tapping of the skin with your hands) and even pinching. Massage can also be incorporated into foreplay.

Let me be clear- foreplay is something to be reciprocated. So don’t think ladies that you are the only ones who need foreplay. Men enjoy foreplay as well. Check out the article I’m In My Zone: Erogenous Zones- The Right Places to Tease, Touch and Suck for more insight on the places to stimulate on both men and women during foreplay.

In closing, oral sex is just that… oral sex. Just because most of the time you may give oral sex prior to having sex doesn’t qualify it to be foreplay. Be more vocal and get into the habit of letting your mate know what you want, where you want to be touched. Try whispering things you want them to do to you in their ear, while softly kissing the sides of their neck. Here’s a little secret… The greatest foreplay starts way before you even touch- try a little mindsex!